Don’t worry, you didn’t miss anything last week. This week is even worse.
In Theaters:
- Resident Evil: Afterlife – Milla Jovovich stars in a video game. You better believe they made it 3D.
Last Week:
- Machete – Moments of glorious gore spattered across a lame plot line.
- Going the Distance – “I’m a Mac” is in a long-distance relationship with the little girl from E.T. I liked one of the guys in the trailer, but Drew Barrymore cancels out any positive this thing had going for it.
- The American – It’s supposed to be a throwback to the old-style cinema starring George Clooney. Most reviews I’ve read say it’ll throw you right back to your pillow.
On Video:
- Killers – Ashton Kutcher is a secret agent man. It also stars Katherine Heigl. That’s 3 strikes.
- MacGruber – Probably your best chance at something decent to watch this week, but that’s not saying much. Be warned, it’s supposed to be pretty crude.
Last Week:
- Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married Too? – His movies will always be successful, I will always wonder why.
- Marmaduke – A live-action talking dog.