I cut my hair today. It has been almost a year since I last cut it. I don’t really know why I did it, I just got bored with it. I decided things had become way too comfortable for me and that it was time for a change.
Thinking back, I’ve noticed that I thrive on change. Since I graduated High School, I’ve lived in 6 different cities scattered across the continent and moved hundreds of times within those cities. Over a period of 4 years, I never lived in the same apartment more than 6 months. I’m constantly rearranging the furniture in my room and in my house. I’m never satisfied doing the same thing for an extended period of time. My current jobs vary so constantly that I never know what I’m doing from one day to the next. I can’t even play video games for much longer than an hour. I’m rarely satisfied watching one of the hundreds of movies I own. I’m always looking for something new.
This has nothing to do with ADD. I can sit still for hours on end doing absolutely nothing but staring at the wall. I can focus on the most boring subjects if I really want to. This has to do with my constant need for change. I find that I’m happiest with my life when I’m trying new things, or in a completely new environment. I am most comfortable when I am uncomfortable.
In some ways I guess this is a good thing. If I’m always looking for something new, then I should always be learning, I should always be progressing. On the other hand, there are things in life that can’t function under constant change. Constant moves can be hard on a family. Constantly changing jobs can get in the way of a career. There has to be some way to allow for constant change in a completely functional life.
My ideal career would be one whose job requirements change from day to day. I want to see new challenges every day of my life. I don’t like it when things are so easy that they become monotonous. When my brain goes into auto-pilot, I shut down and I start looking for the eject button. This is why I struggled so much with school, learning new formulas, equations and patterns just didn’t cut it for me. I needed classes that encouraged deeper and more complex thinking, classes where there was no right answer, classes whose problems had more than one solution, classes that made me constantly change my thought process. Eventually, I found a subject that allowed and even encouraged this constant change and was able to graduate.
My ideal family would be one that welcomed change. I want to travel the world. I want to see new people and new cultures. I want to go places unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I want to visit worlds that are completely foreign to me. Sure, I can be based in one spot, but I need adventure, I need plot development.
I guess my point in all this introspection is that too often we get settled into our lives and become comfortable. I find my life becoming a cycle. I start something new, or go someplace unfamiliar, go with it for a while, become comfortable, then start looking for change once again. I need to break out of my comfort zone and keep it broken. I am happiest when things are changing. This is what makes life exciting, constant change. Look at the animals in the wild, they’re always changing. If a gazelle gets too comfortable, it gets eaten. I think there’s a reason that the earth we live on is built on a web of tectonic plates constantly in motion. I don’t think life could exist any other way. Without change, there is no life.